Last night myself and a couple of my fellow money maulers were sitting around sipping on some yak when we thought to ourselves, "dudes, why don't we hit up the town and show this sad community what it means to burn through some cash". Now as a veteran of such activities I have found there are many ways to show off your cash. You can do something as simple as just burning it in front of homeless people or something as elaborate and blowing your nose with it and then setting it on fire in front of a homeless man.
None of those ideas really seemed to fun last night so my friends and I decided to play an old favourite game of ours. It requires such skills as spending money, getting drunk and the ability to fiercely compete. It is known quite simply as "bar golf".
The game is very simple. Here are the basic rules. You draw up a course of nine bars. Each bar has a par, "or average drinks required" of two. If you drink three drinks you get a birdie, four is an eagle, etc. If you have only one drink you get a bogey. If you understand the rules of golf this should come quite easily to you. You and your peers decide how long to spend at each bar while you are there. If the bar is full of duds you may only stay for a "happy meal", also known as a shot and a beer, but if there are a ton of shorties on the course it may prove advantageous to stay for a while.
Needless to say, a lot of awesome things can happen while playing this game. Strategy comes into play around the fourth hole. At this point you may want to start ripping shots like crazy in an attempt to get ahead. This plan of action is dangerous but since par for each bar is only two drinks you will not be penalized too badly if you pass out. Who am I kidding, pass out? Ha. What I meant to say was find a shorty who snuck into the bathroom behind you because she couldn't stand looking at you without ripping her clothes off and having sex with you for one second longer.
man, chicks are nuts.