Tuesday, February 5, 2008

helping the ladies...

Dear babes,
I know that many of you lovely ladies scour the missed connections section of the pouplar website craig's list when you are looking for love. Well, today we are going to help you out so that you don't have to look for nerds online. After this advice you will be able to walk into the finest strip club and pick up and baller of your choosing.


First thing is first. If you are fat, loose some weight. No cheddar shredder wants a cash cow hanging on his arm. Don't get me wrong, we are not encouraging anorexia, and we definitely do not approve of bulimia, but just drink a diet coke and eat a salad. We are even cool with buying you cocaine, just drop those lbs.


Next, we love huge boobs. I do not believe that needs much more explaining.


Another thing that will help you is if you are into weird sexual deviances. Mind you, I am not talking about super weird shit like taking pisses on one another but I don't know, say that you have like 450 friends and they, well, i dont know....


yeah... that could keep a money masher busy for a couple of hours.


Talkin_Proud said...

Huge boobs are boring. They're in your face and that's that. Nothing interesting to discover because they're already all up in your business.

But I agree with the theme of this post. Listen ladies, there's only one person for whom the chicken wing and Genny Cream Ale diet works for -- Me.

I'd also like to add that while I'm a fan of tight jeans, how about mixing it up a little by leaving a little to the imagination with a nice pair of slacks?

Sure if you wanna get laid wear your spanky pants. If you want a real man you'll wear some fuckin' classy pants.


Real shit.

makingitrain said...

i disagree. there is infact much more to discover. you know, with all of the extra skin and everything.