Out To Dinner.

Usually here at making it rain we have a tendency to spend most of our money between the hours of 10pm to 4am. We feel like it is the best time to spend your money for the following reasons.

• Girls prefer having sex when it is dark out.
• Day drinking, generally, impedes the amount of shit you can get done at work
• People are more impressed with you flaunting your cash when they are drunk
• You forget that you spent the money until the morning
• Did I mention women are looser?

With that said last night I decided to change my general Saturday night agenda. I found myself the most beautiful, expensive escort in all of the city and took her to the most extravagant, luxurious restaurant in all of Buffalo, NY.



Upon our arrival I told the young lady, "Baby, anything you want tonight, you got it." Naturally, she immediately took me to the bathroom and began sucking me off. Thankfully, the restaurant was kind enough to hold our reservation for us while we were in the bathroom. At that point I asked the young man who was serving us to bring us the second most expensive bottle of wine that they had. You see, I didn't want to seem pretentious, I think she found it refreshing.



So after our ambrosial appetizers, we dined on the most huge ass steaks they had this side of the Mississippi. Actually, come to think of it I think the server mentioned them being from Omaha but I was more concerned with pounding more wine.


and pussy.



After receiving the bill I handed off my card to the server and shortly there after he brought it back. After leaving the bill out in the open so the shorty I was with could see just how much money I was throwing away at her expense, she noticed that the credit card was charged $50 less than the actual bill. Now most penny pinchers would quickly sign their receipts and get the hell out of there. Not me though. I said

"Garcon, I believe that there is a mistake with the bill, you have undercharged me."

"It seems that way sir" He responded. Needless to say the babe was impressed. We then proceed to do it for like six hours.




It was pretty cool.

Revealing Our True Identities

As of late many anonymous bloggers have been revealing their true identities to the rest of the world. Some have said it is because it doesn't seem fair that we (bloggers) get to talk mad shit on them (anyone else in the world) and they don't have anything more than a comment board or an email address to respond to. Well, in the light of us making fun of Hayley Love and Elliot Spitzer I wanted them to have names and faces to put to us so that if they wish, they can properly respond.



Well the time is now. Our names are Mitch Little and Bob-a-Lob. We are seventeen year old aspiring rappers. You can still reach us through the comment board or our email, makingitrainwebsite@yahoo.com

enjoy our first video.



The gentleman who joins us at the table for the end of the video is Slim. He is a tremendously awesome money mauler but he is a little too modest to write about it. Also in the video is our dog, his name is Parsons.

Battle of the Ballers.

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Weekly Million Dollar Man Video.

He sounds very angry in this interview. I think that he might have ingested some expensive steroids before this was shot. Yeah, I am pretty positive about that.




Money isn't everything, it is the only thing. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

How To Alienate People.

Often times I like to go out and enjoy a few drinks. Any long time reader knows that. When you do this as often as I do though, it gets difficult from time to time to find new and exciting ways to spend money. So yesterday while I was at work I decided to organize a party for one of my employee's who will be leaving the company at the end of the week.



So I arrived at a local tavern a little early just so that I could let the bartender know that it might be in his best interest to test his fire extinguisher before the party gets started. The bartender gave me a knowing smile and said, "Don't worry sure, I remember you from last week, I tested it as soon as I saw your car."



So after making sure that the bartender had all of the tools that are imperative in putting out fires; Then I had to begin thinking to myself, how can I remind that even though we are outside of work that I am still their boss?



Then it hit me. What better way to show you are a baller than reminding everyone else at work how much more you make than them! Now I know what you are thinking. Paying for the drinks all night, that seems like a nice thing to do. Well, maybe. The trick is when they thank you to say things like "oh, it's just money" or "I make at least three times what you make, don't worry about it!"



When I decided that I had spent a suitable amount of money, I found the most beautiful woman in the bar, left my co workers, and asked her to leave with me. Naturally she obliged. I don't think I need to tell you what I did to her.

Song Profile.

The Song "Love In The Club" by Usher featuring Young Jeezy currently sits atop the Billboard hot 100 charts. We here at making it rain are going to analyze the lyrics to determine if this song rules.



I do it for the ladies
I gotta keep it hood
Where we at Polo? ('EY)
I see you right
Yo Keith You was right
We just gettin started
YEAHHHHHH MAN

Well this is hardly the auspicious start that I had hoped for....



You say you searching for somebody
That'll take you out and do you right
Well come here baby and let daddy show you what it feel like
You know all you gotta do is tell me what you sippin' on (sippin on sippin on) (ey)
And I promise that I’m gonna keep it comin’ all night long
Lookin’ in your eyes while you on the other side
And I think miss shorty I’ve got a thing for you
Doin’ it on purpose Windin and workin’ it
I can tell by the way you lookin’ at me girl

Alright now this is alright. Talking about buying a shorty drinks ALL night long, getting her real drunk and then it sounds like he is going to do her super hard. This verse is is approved by MakingItRain.




I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)

Well, my feelings are that he should be saying "I want to do your right now in this club" but I guess that some ladies don't like being spoken to like that. oh well.



(Listen) Got some friends rollin’ wit you baby then thats cool (thats cool, thats cool)
You can leave em wit my niggaz let em know that I got you (got u, got u)
If you didn’t know, you’re the only thing that’s on my mind (my mind, my mind)
Cos the way you staring miss you got me wantin to give it to you all night
Lookin’ in your eyes while you on the other side
I cant take it no more baby im comin for(editors note: this should say on, not in, don't you think?) you
You keep doin’ it on purpose whindin and workin’ it
If we close our eyes it could be just me and you

I like his thinking here. Usher is a nice dude. In fact he is a lot like me. How? Well, since you are asking let me tell you. Like myself, Usher has tons of babes wanting to do him all of the time. Like Usher, I often times pass some of my extra babes off to my friends. The woman aren't as pleased but my friends couldn't be happier. And that is what nice dudes like Usher and I do for our friends.




I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)


I have already made my feelings on this part pretty clear. Here is a hot babe




POLO YOU A FOOL FOR THIS ONE HOMIE
IM ON EM, YEAHHHH
LETS GO!!
I’m what you want, I’m what you need
He got you trapped, I’ll set you free
Sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally
I’ll be like your medicine, you’ll take every dose of me
It’s going down on isle 3. I’ll bag you like some groceries
And every time you think about it you gon’ want some more of me
Bout to hit the club, make a movie yeah rated R
Pulled up like a trap star, thats if you had
(in the car) Have you ever made love to a thug in the club with his sights on?
87 Jeans and a fresh pair of Nikes on
On the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor
You can meet me in the bathroom yeah you know I’m tryna go


hehehehe. Young Jeezy is awesome! I love rap music.



Might as well give me a kiss, if we keep touchin like this
i know you scared baby, They dont know what we doin
Lets both get undressed right here, keep it up girl i swear, imma give it to you non stop
and i dont care, who's watchin...watchin...watchin
(watchin watchin...ohhhh...in this club, on the floor, baby's just makin love)
I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
I wanna make love in this club 'ey (in this club 'ey in this club 'ey)
(lovin in...lovin in this club. 'eyyy...yea...ey..ey..love...in the club..in the club, ur the one, can u freak me babe?)


I think that is is spectacular that the children of today can listen to this on the radio. This is going to influience all 13 year old girls to become whores and all 13 year old boys to become total ballers who love doing whores. America, I like the way you are looking. MakingItRain has decided that this song is more than tolerable. Nice job Usher and Young Jeezy.

Aren't You Glad We Didn't Go To High School Here?

BOR-RING!!!!!






This immediately becomes reason number 46 that I am glad I did not grow up in Waterloo. Right in between reason number 45, no hot chicks and number 47, fiscal responsibility. Reason number 1, naturally, is that I hear that the Mountie's up there are known to give up to three dwi's to drivers in one night! Good thing Hayley doesn't live up there!

St. Patrick's Day.

On days like today ballers like the writers here at MakingItRain have a tendencey to sort of take the day off. We feel as if the act of rain making is better left to professionals like ourselves. When you have amateur rain makers out there things can get a little dangerous.



Yesterday was the annual St. Patricks Day Parade in Buffalo, New York. This event will usually bring out anywhere from 75,000 to 100,000 people according to the Buffalo News. Which is pretty much the entire population of Buffalo. Drinking generally commences around 9am and goes from anywhere to 10am to 7am the next day. Generally, I would give a 21 hour drinking binge two thumbs up. Think of all of the money you would have to spend drinking that much. Plus I am not even sure someone could drink for that long so the odds are they took a break around Midnight to score a babe or two. Again, I would refer to those actions as totally sweet.



There is one shorty though who might have to take the honors for the most crazy bitch in the greater Buffalo area from the St. Patty's day holiday. Mind you, we do not condone the actions of this woman but shiiiiiiiiiit you have gotta be some kind of bad ass to get away with this.

http://www.buffalonews.com/258/story/301538.html



She got two dwi's in one night. First off, I want to state that in no way do we condone drunk driving. When you have as much scratch as us you can afford to take a limo wherever you want. It is not a big deal. Now that we have that out of the way, HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!! I mean, how do you even do that? Don't they send you to jail after your first one? So after she gets her first DWI she goes to pick up her boyfriend and the two of them break into her boyfriends mother's house!?!? That is crazy. I mean, I guess that if you are drunk enough to break into your possible one day mother in law's house and you are driving that you may deserve a DWI, but, man, this is just too funny.



So here is to you Hayley Love, I hope that your lawyers can roll these two charges into one. Think of it like when you get a parking ticket. You should have just left that DWI ticket on your windshield then maybe you would have only gotten one.

ballah hollah

In case you haven't noticed we really like to talk about ourselves. It's hard not to, though, when your doing amazing shit nearly every minute of the day. Well here at making it rain, we occasionally will take time out of our awesome lives to acknowledge others that live up to our standards.
The first would be a man that I can personally vouch for as being a total bad ass. A couple of weeks back at some party, after pounding two malt liquor 40s, I was given the propers by some dude for my achievement. He then suggested we celebrate by shotgunning deuce-deuces of Camo. It was then I realized that this was no ordinary party goer...it was none other than C-REX. While everyone else in the party was sipping on their PBRs and Hamm's ironically we were out back recounting tales about how fucking cool we are. By now, you must know that much about me so I will present some evidence that, in fact, other ballers do exist. Just watch this video and see for yourself.



and if your still not convinced...go to this website

Okay, Okay...so your probably now convinced about how fucking cool the people we role with are but let me tell you a little story. Apparently, after getting paid ($2000) from a show he just finished, C REX then took that money (which he was supposed to use to go visit his girlfriend) and bought everyone in the venue drinks and then made a 40 sculpture of himself. With that said, I would like to induct C REX as an honorary member of Making it Rain.

Hating It Rain.

So remember that cool sociology 101 professor from your first year in college? The one who really opened up your eyes to all of the outrages going on in the world. The one who may or may not have influenced you to take up anthropology. Well there is little to no doubt in my mind that this professor had you read "Nickeled and Dimed: On(Not) Getting By In America" by Barbara Ehrenreich.



Barbara decided that for this book she was going to do some modern muckraking to prove that you can't get by with a shitty ass job. Starting off in her own backyard, Ehrenreich searched for lodging and a job in neighboring Key West, Florida. After Securing jobs at two restaurants, and a one-day housekeeping stint, she worked for one month before giving into the hard work of an extremely busy night at the restaurant; she walked out, then she headed to Portland, Maine, without an automobile, for a fresh start. Well, Barb, I bet it would be a lot easier to secure a stable living if you didn't walk out on your job when it got too hard, huh? Stupid Bitch.



After arriving in Maine, Ehrenreich landed two more jobs after a four day search, one as an assistant at a nursing home and another as a maid at a cleaning franchise. Worn down by her work-load and work-related stress, she traveled to her final destination, Minneapolis, Minnesota, where she is employed in the women's department at a Wal-Mart before ultimately ending her investigation. Even with the odds stacked on her side -- a car, no kids taking her dough, and a boat load of cash to start off with -- Ehrenreich failed to achieve a baller lifestyle. Though, I have to admit, the one thing not in her favor, quitting every job she has.



So where did all of this get you, Barb? See the thing is by forgoing your modest middle class means and trying to prove a point you wound up with no money looking like a fat ass Chuck Klosterman.



Are you happy with that decision? You are trying to glorify a lifestyle that is stupid. I think for your next book maybe you should write about what it is like to be homeless for a couple of months. I am sure people will love reading that. If you want to give me a signed copy of that when it is finished you can find me at the top of the best seller charts with my book "How to make a ton of cash and score a ton of ass"





*For the record, we don't disagree with her idea. I mean, who knows if those suckers with minimum wage jobs can pay their bills. At Making It Rain we decided early on that it was important to get high paying jobs so that we could have nice things, get drunk often and score tons of chicks. So far, so good.