There are like a million old Money Inc. videos that will get posted on this site before all is said and done. Here is one half of the former 3 time WWF tag team champions, I.R.S. doling out some tax advice for all of you tax cheating schlubs out there.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Please Govenor, Please.
First and foremost I would like to state that this blog has no political affiliations what so ever. Each and every writer and making it rain comes from different backgrounds and have their own political beliefs that we hold true to ourselves but would never publicize here. Some of us hate high taxes because it takes spending money out of our pockets. On the other hand others here love high taxes because we like to show homeless people how much is deducted from our check every week.
Now, with that said, Elliot Spitzer, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!
Now I realize that dear old Elliot is not the first politician to have some mild indiscretions with the "ladies", nor do I believe that he will be the last. The fact is that he is the first to get busted since this blog has been in existence, so for that reason alone I feel as if he should be honored for getting down on some whores. I mean, look at this guy, He needs a whore. It's not like every guy can look like a making it rain writer.
Also, here is a picture of him with a woman. I assume that he paid for her to follow him and then felate him afterwards. Awesome, awesome, so very awesome.
Well Elliot, here is to you, first off for getting me to update twice in one day. Secondly for making me crack up super hard. Last but not least we here at making it rain want to thank you for letting us post a picture of this woman.
who may or not have been the prostitute that cost you your governorship. Idiot.
Now, with that said, Elliot Spitzer, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!
Now I realize that dear old Elliot is not the first politician to have some mild indiscretions with the "ladies", nor do I believe that he will be the last. The fact is that he is the first to get busted since this blog has been in existence, so for that reason alone I feel as if he should be honored for getting down on some whores. I mean, look at this guy, He needs a whore. It's not like every guy can look like a making it rain writer.
Also, here is a picture of him with a woman. I assume that he paid for her to follow him and then felate him afterwards. Awesome, awesome, so very awesome.
Well Elliot, here is to you, first off for getting me to update twice in one day. Secondly for making me crack up super hard. Last but not least we here at making it rain want to thank you for letting us post a picture of this woman.
who may or not have been the prostitute that cost you your governorship. Idiot.
Office Parties.
A wise man once told me that there was no such thing as a bad party. Over the years I find myself inclined to agree with the old man. Sure, some parties have proved to be more fun than others. Some parties, if not for the presence of alcohol might have been god awful in fact, thankfully though, there is always free booze and often times free food. Whenever free food and free booze are around it is an excellent recipe for a baller to show off how much he can drink. This, more often than not, results in a good time had by all.
In my opinion though, there is one kind of party that stands out amongst all others. This is the work party. As most of you know, part of being a money mauler is giving up a good chunk of your day to the man. Slaving away, be it at a nine to five, an eight to six or maybe even a nine to nine if you are very ambitious. For the record, no real baller works the night shift, 'cos, y'know, that is when the sluts are out.
Now since you give most of your time to your boss it is only fair that when he presents the opportunity to drink away his cash, well, you should take advantage of this. It is recommended that you drink top shelf manhattans, do shots of patron with any good looking co-workers and if you are feeling especially wasteful, act like a girl and spill your drink while you are in the bathroom. This will create the illusion that you are drinking more than you actually are while still not costing you a penny. Talk about a win win situation!
Another awesome part about the night is that since you don't have to spend a penny on booze or food that you can tip the bartenders far much more than they deserve. You can tell them, "hey buddy, I used to tend bar in college, it will get better, look at all of this!!!! ahahahahaha!" The bartender will respect you and the shorties from your office will think that you are super cool too. Just be careful that you are impressing the hot, young women from a few cubicles down and not Agnus and Barb from accounting.
The Christmas party this year was awful man, ughh.
In my opinion though, there is one kind of party that stands out amongst all others. This is the work party. As most of you know, part of being a money mauler is giving up a good chunk of your day to the man. Slaving away, be it at a nine to five, an eight to six or maybe even a nine to nine if you are very ambitious. For the record, no real baller works the night shift, 'cos, y'know, that is when the sluts are out.
Now since you give most of your time to your boss it is only fair that when he presents the opportunity to drink away his cash, well, you should take advantage of this. It is recommended that you drink top shelf manhattans, do shots of patron with any good looking co-workers and if you are feeling especially wasteful, act like a girl and spill your drink while you are in the bathroom. This will create the illusion that you are drinking more than you actually are while still not costing you a penny. Talk about a win win situation!
Another awesome part about the night is that since you don't have to spend a penny on booze or food that you can tip the bartenders far much more than they deserve. You can tell them, "hey buddy, I used to tend bar in college, it will get better, look at all of this!!!! ahahahahaha!" The bartender will respect you and the shorties from your office will think that you are super cool too. Just be careful that you are impressing the hot, young women from a few cubicles down and not Agnus and Barb from accounting.
The Christmas party this year was awful man, ughh.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Battle of the Ballers.
Tonight is the series finale of the critically acclaimed HBO series The Wire. The show has received critical acclaim for its realistic portrayal of urban life and uncommonly deep exploration of sociological themes, and has been named the best show on television by TIME, Entertainment Weekly, The Guardian,the Chicago Tribune,Slate,the San Francisco Chronicle,Philadelphia Daily News and me. Despite the positive reviews, the show has failed to draw an audience commensurate with its press.
Most of the readers of this blog don't have the time do watch television, you are far to busy spending cash, getting wasted and doing chicks. I understand this but this show displays some baller ass shit such as slinging drugs and having mad cash. Plus a bunch off pussies get off'ed which is sweet. Today we are going to go over the two main ballers in this show, Marlo Stanfield and Avon Barksdale to figure out which of these ballers flaunts the most cheddar. First up, Avon Barksdale.
Avon was the number one baller when the show started in 2002. He ran all of West Baltimore and had no less than two people who testified against his crew murdered for being snitchin' ass bitches. Him and his boy Stringer Bell had the most cash and ran the most sexy strip club in all of B'more.
Avon was eventually locked up for conspiracy or some shit because that is all that they could put on his ass. The man was far too smooth to get locked up for murder. While he was in prison he had a bunch of other jokers killed because he was so bad ass he could make sweet ass plays like that from the slammer. Next up, Marlo Stanfield.
Marlo had over twenty punk asses shot up and put in some vacant buildings to show other dealers in B'more how he rolled. In the most recent season he totally went ape shit on his crew when he found out that his name was sullied by Omar (a homosexual stuck up boy) in the streets. We will find out tonight how many more "all talk no action" bitches get done for being snitches.
So let's break this thing down Dr. Jack Style
More bad ass crew?
Avon had Weebay, Stringer Bell, D'Angelo Barksdale, and Brodie.
Marlo runs with Chris Partlow, Snoop and Cheddar.
The winner is Marlo. Snoop and Chris kill the most jokers in all of B'more. Be they from the East side, West side or New York City, no one is safe on Marlo's watch.
The most cash flow
Avon relationship with his number two, Stringer Bell, was always in a state of constant flux because he felt restricted by Stringer's cash spending limitations placed upon him. Avon always wanted to go out and shoot corner boys, get drunk and spend cash like woah.
Marlo is kind of a bitch ass who only takes an administrative position when it comes to doing the deeds. He hands out cash to little kids in season four just so those kids know who is in charge with Avon in prison. Marlo also had Prop Joe launder money for him because he was such a bitch that he wouldn't just go out with the cash that he had. Ultimately, when push comes to shove Avon had Stinger killed because Avon wanted to flaunt cash and Stringer wasn't having it. Avon takes this round.
Who scores the most babes?
Marlo sort of strikes me as a prude, I don't really remember him even talking to any chick besides Snoop during the entire show. For all of the name calling on Omar I might have to wonder if it is time for someone to look into the mirror.
As mentioned earlier, Avon owned a strip club, 'nuff said.
In our battle of the ballers Avon Barksdale defeats Marlo Stanfield as the most ballin' ass n word on The Wire. My prediction for tonight's finale, given this head to head breakdown, is that Avon has Marlo killed. Sure Avon is in prison but he has shown that he can make a bitch drop from there already. Also, I swear to God if Bubbles dies I am going to get reaaaaaaaaal pissed.
Most of the readers of this blog don't have the time do watch television, you are far to busy spending cash, getting wasted and doing chicks. I understand this but this show displays some baller ass shit such as slinging drugs and having mad cash. Plus a bunch off pussies get off'ed which is sweet. Today we are going to go over the two main ballers in this show, Marlo Stanfield and Avon Barksdale to figure out which of these ballers flaunts the most cheddar. First up, Avon Barksdale.
Avon was the number one baller when the show started in 2002. He ran all of West Baltimore and had no less than two people who testified against his crew murdered for being snitchin' ass bitches. Him and his boy Stringer Bell had the most cash and ran the most sexy strip club in all of B'more.
Avon was eventually locked up for conspiracy or some shit because that is all that they could put on his ass. The man was far too smooth to get locked up for murder. While he was in prison he had a bunch of other jokers killed because he was so bad ass he could make sweet ass plays like that from the slammer. Next up, Marlo Stanfield.
Marlo had over twenty punk asses shot up and put in some vacant buildings to show other dealers in B'more how he rolled. In the most recent season he totally went ape shit on his crew when he found out that his name was sullied by Omar (a homosexual stuck up boy) in the streets. We will find out tonight how many more "all talk no action" bitches get done for being snitches.
So let's break this thing down Dr. Jack Style
More bad ass crew?
Avon had Weebay, Stringer Bell, D'Angelo Barksdale, and Brodie.
Marlo runs with Chris Partlow, Snoop and Cheddar.
The winner is Marlo. Snoop and Chris kill the most jokers in all of B'more. Be they from the East side, West side or New York City, no one is safe on Marlo's watch.
The most cash flow
Avon relationship with his number two, Stringer Bell, was always in a state of constant flux because he felt restricted by Stringer's cash spending limitations placed upon him. Avon always wanted to go out and shoot corner boys, get drunk and spend cash like woah.
Marlo is kind of a bitch ass who only takes an administrative position when it comes to doing the deeds. He hands out cash to little kids in season four just so those kids know who is in charge with Avon in prison. Marlo also had Prop Joe launder money for him because he was such a bitch that he wouldn't just go out with the cash that he had. Ultimately, when push comes to shove Avon had Stinger killed because Avon wanted to flaunt cash and Stringer wasn't having it. Avon takes this round.
Who scores the most babes?
Marlo sort of strikes me as a prude, I don't really remember him even talking to any chick besides Snoop during the entire show. For all of the name calling on Omar I might have to wonder if it is time for someone to look into the mirror.
As mentioned earlier, Avon owned a strip club, 'nuff said.
In our battle of the ballers Avon Barksdale defeats Marlo Stanfield as the most ballin' ass n word on The Wire. My prediction for tonight's finale, given this head to head breakdown, is that Avon has Marlo killed. Sure Avon is in prison but he has shown that he can make a bitch drop from there already. Also, I swear to God if Bubbles dies I am going to get reaaaaaaaaal pissed.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
I Can't Get Enough Of This Guy
I really do wish that I never found out that Ted Dibiase, The Million Dollar Man, was a fraud. It ruined just about my entire month of February. I have new hopes for March though. I am going to kind of pretend that it never happened and go back to posting awesome video clips from The Million Dollar Man. The Godfather of spending, I love him.
Song Profile The Second.
Song time again. Today we will be profiling "Make It Rain" by Fat Joe f/ a bunch of other rappers. I have a feeling that this song may rate better than "If I Had A Million Dollars"
Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes
Yes, Yes, Yes. That is awesome. Suggesting that all those penny pincher's out there should grab umbrellas so as to shield themselves from the cash that will be falling all around them. Awesome, totally awesome.
Cr Cr Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack
U hear that Echo, man I seen the best go, cuz he ain't had that metal
Im a Hustla’s Hustla, A Pusher’s Pusher
U a busta a customer, I get u sum cooka
Yea Crack is a chemist, I pack a 11, I mack in a 7, I’ll clap at ur reverend
I see u in NY, I’ll send u an invite, U gon need u a pass that’s the code that we live by.
Well, I am not quite sure what he was saying there most of the time. It rhymes though, that is pretty cool. On the whole, I am a not that impressed with Fat Joe's abilities to make it rain, so far that is.
[Chorus]
OWWWW Clap Clap Clap Gotta make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Clap Clap Clap Clap Gotta Make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Now why’s everybody so mad at the south for
Change ur style up.. switch 2 southpaw
Jada I was listenin(listenin), so I made him an anthem 2 make some dividends
Lil mama try 2 hit me with the Shoulder Lean ,This Cootco Crack and I control the team
Couple Bricks Stacked up on that triple beam, my dirty bro sippin that promethazeen
That Gonja Green that Cali Weed, a nigga lose his life try roll on me
Now yup yup we get it, no advanced about it
And the rain keep fallin' even when it's droughted
Doing chicks? Check. Doing drugs? Check. Spending Money? Check. That is just an excellent verse. That was an excellent come back Fat Joe.
Owwwww mami’s body is bangin, she got it man she does it all
She gets it poppin with no hands I’ll make it pour
I’ll make it rain on em I’m layin' game 2 em
I’m gassin misses to tattoo my name on em
Gotta get that baby love, gotta get my paper up
Gotta suspect me,xactly test this crack and wanna ring on us
And U Kno what it is, yo its them powder kids
And we kno how 2 bizz, so we don’t give a shit.
Now I know being a baller is difficult, trust me, I know better than ANYONE. Still though, the fact that Fat Joe blatantly mis spells words like "know" by writing "kno" well, I think it is just lazy. I know that one might argue that I am so rich that I don't need to know how to spell. Or maybe you could say that I am so busy doing chicks that it doesn't matter. I just think that it does. A small complaint really. Maybe it is just that my English teacher was more effective in making me pay attention in class.
[Chorus]
Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes
Yeah, this song is pretty cool. It would have been cool that if at some point he would have mentioned the website, I don't know, it would have been cool, I mean, I review your song, you drop the website on a remix, well, yeah, if you could do that it would be awesome, thanks.
Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes
Yes, Yes, Yes. That is awesome. Suggesting that all those penny pincher's out there should grab umbrellas so as to shield themselves from the cash that will be falling all around them. Awesome, totally awesome.
Cr Cr Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack
U hear that Echo, man I seen the best go, cuz he ain't had that metal
Im a Hustla’s Hustla, A Pusher’s Pusher
U a busta a customer, I get u sum cooka
Yea Crack is a chemist, I pack a 11, I mack in a 7, I’ll clap at ur reverend
I see u in NY, I’ll send u an invite, U gon need u a pass that’s the code that we live by.
Well, I am not quite sure what he was saying there most of the time. It rhymes though, that is pretty cool. On the whole, I am a not that impressed with Fat Joe's abilities to make it rain, so far that is.
[Chorus]
OWWWW Clap Clap Clap Gotta make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Clap Clap Clap Clap Gotta Make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Now why’s everybody so mad at the south for
Change ur style up.. switch 2 southpaw
Jada I was listenin(listenin), so I made him an anthem 2 make some dividends
Lil mama try 2 hit me with the Shoulder Lean ,This Cootco Crack and I control the team
Couple Bricks Stacked up on that triple beam, my dirty bro sippin that promethazeen
That Gonja Green that Cali Weed, a nigga lose his life try roll on me
Now yup yup we get it, no advanced about it
And the rain keep fallin' even when it's droughted
Doing chicks? Check. Doing drugs? Check. Spending Money? Check. That is just an excellent verse. That was an excellent come back Fat Joe.
Owwwww mami’s body is bangin, she got it man she does it all
She gets it poppin with no hands I’ll make it pour
I’ll make it rain on em I’m layin' game 2 em
I’m gassin misses to tattoo my name on em
Gotta get that baby love, gotta get my paper up
Gotta suspect me,xactly test this crack and wanna ring on us
And U Kno what it is, yo its them powder kids
And we kno how 2 bizz, so we don’t give a shit.
Now I know being a baller is difficult, trust me, I know better than ANYONE. Still though, the fact that Fat Joe blatantly mis spells words like "know" by writing "kno" well, I think it is just lazy. I know that one might argue that I am so rich that I don't need to know how to spell. Or maybe you could say that I am so busy doing chicks that it doesn't matter. I just think that it does. A small complaint really. Maybe it is just that my English teacher was more effective in making me pay attention in class.
[Chorus]
Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes
Yeah, this song is pretty cool. It would have been cool that if at some point he would have mentioned the website, I don't know, it would have been cool, I mean, I review your song, you drop the website on a remix, well, yeah, if you could do that it would be awesome, thanks.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Regarding Today's Buffalo News
Today while taking a breather from the grueling world of corporate ambition I took a few moments to enjoy a nice cup of coffee and read the newspaper. After thumbing through a few pages I came across a headline that read "Five People With Buffalo Ties Among The World's Richest".
My first thought was, "I don't remember being asked for an interview for this story! Surely with my wealth I am included in such a list of the world's elite!" I continued reading and there is no mention of my name anywhere!
"Bullocks!" I shouted. Then I thought perhaps I was intoxicated and made a profanity laced tirade about how the barenaked ladies have no idea how to spend money like me and how it is nice to finally get some recognition for being such a baller.
I then thought that maybe their was a space restriction on the actual print edition so I wandered over to the Buffalo News' website to see if they talked about their hometown hero who spends cash like no other. Alas, I got distracted by pictures of scantily clad women and never checked
But then I figured it out without even going to the website. The world's richest man, Warren Buffett, owns the Buffalo News. There is no way that he would allow me to over shadow him in his own paper. Well played Mr. Buffett, you are a smart business man. But don't think that you have heard the last from yet. I will be writing a letter to your editor, which I am sure won't be published.
Maybe I should not have made that anti-Geico post after all...
My first thought was, "I don't remember being asked for an interview for this story! Surely with my wealth I am included in such a list of the world's elite!" I continued reading and there is no mention of my name anywhere!
"Bullocks!" I shouted. Then I thought perhaps I was intoxicated and made a profanity laced tirade about how the barenaked ladies have no idea how to spend money like me and how it is nice to finally get some recognition for being such a baller.
I then thought that maybe their was a space restriction on the actual print edition so I wandered over to the Buffalo News' website to see if they talked about their hometown hero who spends cash like no other. Alas, I got distracted by pictures of scantily clad women and never checked
But then I figured it out without even going to the website. The world's richest man, Warren Buffett, owns the Buffalo News. There is no way that he would allow me to over shadow him in his own paper. Well played Mr. Buffett, you are a smart business man. But don't think that you have heard the last from yet. I will be writing a letter to your editor, which I am sure won't be published.
Maybe I should not have made that anti-Geico post after all...
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Did You Know?
Did you know that March is "National Talk To Your Teen About Sex" Month? Well, thankfully we here at MakingItRain are concerned with addressing serious issues each and every day. Be it talking about how to spend cash, get wasted or, in today's installment how to have sex with an eighteen or nineteen year old!
See, the thing about teen sex is that you always have to make sure that you check their id's. I remember this one time when I was out at a bar, now mind you, bars should be places of business that only allow people aged 21 years or older inside, right? Well apparently this bar owner disagreed with me. Not only that, how was I supposed to know that women under the age of 21 think that spending money frivolously totally sexy?
So before you know it we are back at my mansion and I am lighting cigarettes with fifty dollar bills and showing her this neat trick where money can literally burn a hole in my pocket.
Well, long story short, I am very happy that I am super rich so I can afford excellent lawyer's who can place "fake" fake id's into these girl's bedrooms so that when the police search her parent's house for evidence proving my innocence they find these fraudulent documents proving that I was duped into thinking she was 21. Man, being rich is awesome.
See, the thing about teen sex is that you always have to make sure that you check their id's. I remember this one time when I was out at a bar, now mind you, bars should be places of business that only allow people aged 21 years or older inside, right? Well apparently this bar owner disagreed with me. Not only that, how was I supposed to know that women under the age of 21 think that spending money frivolously totally sexy?
So before you know it we are back at my mansion and I am lighting cigarettes with fifty dollar bills and showing her this neat trick where money can literally burn a hole in my pocket.
Well, long story short, I am very happy that I am super rich so I can afford excellent lawyer's who can place "fake" fake id's into these girl's bedrooms so that when the police search her parent's house for evidence proving my innocence they find these fraudulent documents proving that I was duped into thinking she was 21. Man, being rich is awesome.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Song Profile. First Edition.
Growing up in the Western New York area people like myself had access to Canadian radio at our fingertips. This was both a positive experience and an extremely negative one as well. The positives including such hip hop gems as the Swollen Members, Rascalz and K-os on the flip side we have been subjected to such horrid acts as Snow and the much hated Barenaked Ladies. Today at MakingItRain we are going to be profiling the song, "If I Had A Million Dollars" to find out if they are, in our opinion, satisfactorily flaunting their cash. If we deem their expenditures awesome, who knows we may even change our opinion of these schlubs.
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
Alright, at this point rather than buying a mansion they are buying houses. Lame. Minus one. Secondly they are suggesting buying someone a K-Car? Have you ever seen one of those things? They are retarded looking. Instead of buying a K-Car they should be buying Lamborghini's or some cool shit like that.
If I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had million dollars
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had million dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah
Well, maybe this is just us, but doesn't their tree fort sound like a gay hangout to you? Pre-wrapped sausages, what is that? I will tell you what it is, not decent. You know what we would buy rather than a tree house with a fridge in it, well a ton of shit, but the first thing that comes to mind is a women's beach volleyball team. Minus two for the barenaked ladies.
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
I don't know who John Merrick is and I am not going to waste the time to google him because, honestly, I do not give a fuck. You guys are freaks digging up and dead dude and purchasing his remains. I mean, i enjoy that you are getting more creative than a reliable automobile by showing your spending power in purchasing such idiotic things like emu's, llama's and "crazy" elephant bones but it could still be better spent on such things as alcohol and recreational drugs. Take another point off the board for this stupid fucking band.
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm
Well if you aren't tired of reading yet I am going to keep going. I didn't realize how long this was going to take when I got started. Now I am stuck pointing out how much cooler we here at MakingItRain are than the dofus' in the Barenaked Ladies. I apologize if it is getting excessive but this needs to be done. No person in their right mind would buy ketchup with a million dollars. Kraft dinners either. I have about had it with these fucking guys. Here is a picture of some babes who are hot.
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey)
If I had a million dollars
I’d buy your love
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich
THANK.GOD.THE.SONG.IS.OVER. You don't buy love with money you dip shit. You buy sex. And booze. And more sex. Not love. Never love. And what the fuck is with this not a real green dress shit? Pardon my excessive run of of profanity here but this terrible song has driven me to this. If we ever run this segment here again (which I very much doubt) I promise it will be a bad ass rap song that is awesome and not a shitty song from a shitty Canadian band who thinks a million dollars is a lot of money. What a bunch of nitwits. Final Verdict, Barenakes Ladies do NOT know how to make it rain. Now with a real bare naked lady.
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
Alright, at this point rather than buying a mansion they are buying houses. Lame. Minus one. Secondly they are suggesting buying someone a K-Car? Have you ever seen one of those things? They are retarded looking. Instead of buying a K-Car they should be buying Lamborghini's or some cool shit like that.
If I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had million dollars
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had million dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah
Well, maybe this is just us, but doesn't their tree fort sound like a gay hangout to you? Pre-wrapped sausages, what is that? I will tell you what it is, not decent. You know what we would buy rather than a tree house with a fridge in it, well a ton of shit, but the first thing that comes to mind is a women's beach volleyball team. Minus two for the barenaked ladies.
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
I don't know who John Merrick is and I am not going to waste the time to google him because, honestly, I do not give a fuck. You guys are freaks digging up and dead dude and purchasing his remains. I mean, i enjoy that you are getting more creative than a reliable automobile by showing your spending power in purchasing such idiotic things like emu's, llama's and "crazy" elephant bones but it could still be better spent on such things as alcohol and recreational drugs. Take another point off the board for this stupid fucking band.
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm
Well if you aren't tired of reading yet I am going to keep going. I didn't realize how long this was going to take when I got started. Now I am stuck pointing out how much cooler we here at MakingItRain are than the dofus' in the Barenaked Ladies. I apologize if it is getting excessive but this needs to be done. No person in their right mind would buy ketchup with a million dollars. Kraft dinners either. I have about had it with these fucking guys. Here is a picture of some babes who are hot.
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey)
If I had a million dollars
I’d buy your love
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich
THANK.GOD.THE.SONG.IS.OVER. You don't buy love with money you dip shit. You buy sex. And booze. And more sex. Not love. Never love. And what the fuck is with this not a real green dress shit? Pardon my excessive run of of profanity here but this terrible song has driven me to this. If we ever run this segment here again (which I very much doubt) I promise it will be a bad ass rap song that is awesome and not a shitty song from a shitty Canadian band who thinks a million dollars is a lot of money. What a bunch of nitwits. Final Verdict, Barenakes Ladies do NOT know how to make it rain. Now with a real bare naked lady.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
You Know The Saying...
When you were growing up I am sure that you heard this saying before, "March, comes in like a lion, goes out like a lamb". Well I am here to tell you today, March 1st 2008, my goal is to do just that.
I think I will start my night off with a couple of buddies and a little pre-gaming for the night. You may have heard of the drinking game "Power Hour" where you take a shot of beer every sixty seconds for an hour. Well, he have a game sort of like that too. Rather than using a $3.99 six pack of stroh's like most penny pinchers we use a big ass bottle of maker's mark.
After getting suitably "buzzed" my friends and I will play some video games. In fact my friend Damien recently spend much of his hard earned cash on some popular electronics that will play with tonight and then probably smash with sledgehammers to amuse ourselves.
After smashing shit I think we will go out for a while and I will fulfill the age old adage of March. Yep, you bet your ass I will be coming like a lion!
I think I will start my night off with a couple of buddies and a little pre-gaming for the night. You may have heard of the drinking game "Power Hour" where you take a shot of beer every sixty seconds for an hour. Well, he have a game sort of like that too. Rather than using a $3.99 six pack of stroh's like most penny pinchers we use a big ass bottle of maker's mark.
After getting suitably "buzzed" my friends and I will play some video games. In fact my friend Damien recently spend much of his hard earned cash on some popular electronics that will play with tonight and then probably smash with sledgehammers to amuse ourselves.
After smashing shit I think we will go out for a while and I will fulfill the age old adage of March. Yep, you bet your ass I will be coming like a lion!
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