Song Profile.

Currently the song "Touch My Body" by Mariah Carey sits atop the Billboard Hot 100 charts. Today we will profile this song. (editors note: I have never heard this song)



MC, you're the place to be
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Umm okay, nothing too provocative so far...





I know that you've been waiting for it
I'm waiting too
In my imagination I'd be all up on you
I know you got that fever for me
102
And boy I know I feel the same
My temperature's through the roof

So she wants to do me. I am cool with that. I like doing chicks.





If there's a camera up in here
Then it's gonna leave with me
When I do (I do)
If there's a camera up in here
Then I'd best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
'Cause if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
'Cause they be all up in my business
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I


....ummm does she realize that I am blogging about this right now? I mean, I am not taping anything, that would be awesome but I lack the proper amount of space on my digital camera. I suppose that I could buy another one with all of the money that I have but, well, I have just sort of been too busy getting drunk and having tons of sex.



Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you love my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.

That is more like it. I don't want to hear you complaining about shit. I am just going to do you real proper, then I will pay you and you can leave.



Boy you can put me on you
Like a brand new white tee
I'll hug your body tighter
Than my favorite jeans
I want you to caress me
Like a tropical breeze
And float away with you
In the Caribbean Sea

Mariah you have painted a lovely, lovely picture for me there...





If there's a camera up in here
Then it's gonna leave with me
When I do (I do)
If there's a camera up in here
Then I'd best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
'Cause if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
'Cause they be all up in my business
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I

Enough already, I told you I am not taping this shit. Dudes do not like watching themselves do it. It is gross. I have seen myself masturbating in a bathroom mirror before. It is gross. That is why I am straight. Weiners are gross.



Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you love my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.

I wish she had a verse or a chorus about money. That would be cool. Or a verse about getting bombed. Here at making it rain we do love doing chicks, we do, but we are also concerned with making cash, spending cash or more speficially, wasting cash.



Imma treat you like a teddy bear
You won't wanna go nowhere
In the lap of luxury
Laying intertwined with me
You won't want for nothing boy
I will give you plenty of joy
Touch my body

Teddy Bear, huh? I am cool with that.




Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you love my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.
Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah
Oh yeah oh yeah
Oh oh oh oh yeah
Touch my body...

Well, I have to go and ummm... watch baseball, yeah that's it, watch baseball. Bye.

Song Profile.

In our latest installment of "song profiles" we are looking at "C.R.E.A.M" by Wu-Tang Clan. I have a feeling that this is going to be a good one...



What that nigga want God?
Word up, look out for the cops (Wu-Tang five finger shit)
(Cash Rules) Word up, two for fives over here baby
Word up, two for fives them niggaz got garbage down the way, word up
KnowhatI'msayin?
(Cash Rules Everything Around Me
C.R.E.A.M. get...)
Yeah, check this ol fly shit out
Word up
(Cash Rules Everything Around Me) Take you on a natural joint
(C.R.E.A.M. get the money) Here we here we go
(dolla dolla bill y'all) Check this shit, yo!


Oh baby! This shit starts off pretty awesome. I have a feeling that they are going to be talking an awful lot about making money. Let's keep our fingers crossed.



I grew up on the crime side, the New York Times side
Staying alive was no jive
At second hands, moms bounced on old men
So then we moved to Shaolin land
A young youth, yo rockin the gold tooth, 'Lo goose
Only way, I begin to gee off was drug loot
And let's start it like this son, rollin with this one
And that one, pullin out gats for fun
But it was just a dream for the teen, who was a fiend
Started smokin woolies at sixteen
And running up in gates, and doing hits for high stakes
Making my way on fire escapes
No question I would speed, for cracks and weed
The combination made my eyes bleed
No question I would flow off, and try to get the dough all
Sticking up white boys in ball courts
My life got no better, same damn 'Lo sweater
Times is ruff and tuff like leather
Figured out I went the wrong route
So I got with a sick ass click and went all out
Catchin keys from across seas
Rollin in MPV's, every week we made forty G's
Yo nigga respect mine, or anger the tech nine
Ch-chick-POW! Move from the gate now


Well played Rakewon. You hit the following "buzz" words which give you points in our eyes.
-Tech nine
-Gats
-Sticking up white boys
-Speed
-Weed

There was some other sweet shit in there too, but if we kept up with that I might as well just copy and paste that entire verse.



Cash, Rules, Everything, Around, Me
C.R.E.A.M.
Get the money
Dollar, dollar bill y'all


M-E-T-H-O-D MAN! yes,yes,yes.




It's been twenty-two long hard years of still strugglin
Survival got me buggin, but I'm alive on arrival
I peep at the shape of the streets
And stay awake to the ways of the world cause shit is deep
A man with a dream with plans to make C.R.E.A.M.
Which failed; I went to jail at the age of 15
A young buck sellin drugs and such who never had much
Trying to get a clutch at what I could not... could not...
The court played me short, now I face incarceration
Pacin -- going up state's my destination
Handcuffed in back of a bus, forty of us
Life as a shorty shouldn't be so ruff
But as the world turns I learned life is hell
Living in the world no different from a cell
Everyday I escape from Jakes givin chase, sellin base
Smokin bones in the staircase
Though I don't know why I chose to smoke sess
I guess that's the time when I'm not depressed
But I'm still depressed, and I ask what's it worth?
Ready to give up so I seek the Old Earth
Who explained working hard may help you maintain
to learn to overcome the heartaches and pain
We got stickup kids, corrupt cops, and crack rocks
and stray shots, all on the block that stays hot
Leave it up to me while I be living proof
To kick the truth to the young black youth
But shorty's running wild smokin sess drinkin beer
And ain't trying to hear what I'm kickin in his ear
Neglected, but now, but yo, it gots to be accepted
That what? That life is hectic


Inspector Deck made balling sound un-awesome. That is not cool. The game is the game and it 'aint never gonna change, BOR-RING.




Niggas gots to do what they gotta do, to get a bill
YaknowhatI'msayin?
Cuz we can't just get by no more
Word up, we gotta get over, straight up and down

Time for a babe!



Cash Rules Everything Around Me
C.R.E.A.M.
get the money
Dolla dolla bill y'aauhhhaaaauhhhhahhhauhhhhll, YEAH

I have to be honest, of all of the songs we have profiled this one is the most money making tune yet. I mean shit, it is Wu-Tang, it is C.R.E.A.M. . So next time you are out at a bar, find the digital jukebox, download this tune and watch all of the bitches run out of the bar. The only people left will be fellow ballers. Then you can really get down.



You know what they say, money makes the world go 'round.

Song Profile The Second.

Song time again. Today we will be profiling "Make It Rain" by Fat Joe f/ a bunch of other rappers. I have a feeling that this song may rate better than "If I Had A Million Dollars"



Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes

Yes, Yes, Yes. That is awesome. Suggesting that all those penny pincher's out there should grab umbrellas so as to shield themselves from the cash that will be falling all around them. Awesome, totally awesome.




Cr Cr Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack
U hear that Echo, man I seen the best go, cuz he ain't had that metal
Im a Hustla’s Hustla, A Pusher’s Pusher
U a busta a customer, I get u sum cooka
Yea Crack is a chemist, I pack a 11, I mack in a 7, I’ll clap at ur reverend
I see u in NY, I’ll send u an invite, U gon need u a pass that’s the code that we live by.

Well, I am not quite sure what he was saying there most of the time. It rhymes though, that is pretty cool. On the whole, I am a not that impressed with Fat Joe's abilities to make it rain, so far that is.




[Chorus]
OWWWW Clap Clap Clap Gotta make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Clap Clap Clap Clap Gotta Make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Now why’s everybody so mad at the south for
Change ur style up.. switch 2 southpaw
Jada I was listenin(listenin), so I made him an anthem 2 make some dividends
Lil mama try 2 hit me with the Shoulder Lean ,This Cootco Crack and I control the team
Couple Bricks Stacked up on that triple beam, my dirty bro sippin that promethazeen
That Gonja Green that Cali Weed, a nigga lose his life try roll on me
Now yup yup we get it, no advanced about it
And the rain keep fallin' even when it's droughted

Doing chicks? Check. Doing drugs? Check. Spending Money? Check. That is just an excellent verse. That was an excellent come back Fat Joe.




Owwwww mami’s body is bangin, she got it man she does it all
She gets it poppin with no hands I’ll make it pour
I’ll make it rain on em I’m layin' game 2 em
I’m gassin misses to tattoo my name on em
Gotta get that baby love, gotta get my paper up
Gotta suspect me,xactly test this crack and wanna ring on us
And U Kno what it is, yo its them powder kids
And we kno how 2 bizz, so we don’t give a shit.

Now I know being a baller is difficult, trust me, I know better than ANYONE. Still though, the fact that Fat Joe blatantly mis spells words like "know" by writing "kno" well, I think it is just lazy. I know that one might argue that I am so rich that I don't need to know how to spell. Or maybe you could say that I am so busy doing chicks that it doesn't matter. I just think that it does. A small complaint really. Maybe it is just that my English teacher was more effective in making me pay attention in class.



[Chorus]

Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes

Yeah, this song is pretty cool. It would have been cool that if at some point he would have mentioned the website, I don't know, it would have been cool, I mean, I review your song, you drop the website on a remix, well, yeah, if you could do that it would be awesome, thanks.

Song Profile. First Edition.

Growing up in the Western New York area people like myself had access to Canadian radio at our fingertips. This was both a positive experience and an extremely negative one as well. The positives including such hip hop gems as the Swollen Members, Rascalz and K-os on the flip side we have been subjected to such horrid acts as Snow and the much hated Barenaked Ladies. Today at MakingItRain we are going to be profiling the song, "If I Had A Million Dollars" to find out if they are, in our opinion, satisfactorily flaunting their cash. If we deem their expenditures awesome, who knows we may even change our opinion of these schlubs.



If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

Alright, at this point rather than buying a mansion they are buying houses. Lame. Minus one. Secondly they are suggesting buying someone a K-Car? Have you ever seen one of those things? They are retarded looking. Instead of buying a K-Car they should be buying Lamborghini's or some cool shit like that.



If I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had million dollars
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had million dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah

Well, maybe this is just us, but doesn't their tree fort sound like a gay hangout to you? Pre-wrapped sausages, what is that? I will tell you what it is, not decent. You know what we would buy rather than a tree house with a fridge in it, well a ton of shit, but the first thing that comes to mind is a women's beach volleyball team. Minus two for the barenaked ladies.




If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

I don't know who John Merrick is and I am not going to waste the time to google him because, honestly, I do not give a fuck. You guys are freaks digging up and dead dude and purchasing his remains. I mean, i enjoy that you are getting more creative than a reliable automobile by showing your spending power in purchasing such idiotic things like emu's, llama's and "crazy" elephant bones but it could still be better spent on such things as alcohol and recreational drugs. Take another point off the board for this stupid fucking band.



If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm

Well if you aren't tired of reading yet I am going to keep going. I didn't realize how long this was going to take when I got started. Now I am stuck pointing out how much cooler we here at MakingItRain are than the dofus' in the Barenaked Ladies. I apologize if it is getting excessive but this needs to be done. No person in their right mind would buy ketchup with a million dollars. Kraft dinners either. I have about had it with these fucking guys. Here is a picture of some babes who are hot.




If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey)
If I had a million dollars
I’d buy your love
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich

THANK.GOD.THE.SONG.IS.OVER. You don't buy love with money you dip shit. You buy sex. And booze. And more sex. Not love. Never love. And what the fuck is with this not a real green dress shit? Pardon my excessive run of of profanity here but this terrible song has driven me to this. If we ever run this segment here again (which I very much doubt) I promise it will be a bad ass rap song that is awesome and not a shitty song from a shitty Canadian band who thinks a million dollars is a lot of money. What a bunch of nitwits. Final Verdict, Barenakes Ladies do NOT know how to make it rain. Now with a real bare naked lady.