happy hour

After a long day of slaving away at work, people generally can't wait to go out and get drunk and grub out. This urge is evident in all cultures whether it be the Italian apertivo or Spanish tapas.
However most cultures view the drink as a precursor to the meal, not Americans though...we want to have fun and we wanna get wasted.


Most recently I was out listening to my friend dj and it happened to be happy hour. The establishment which I was patronizing (in both senses of the word) offers reduced prices on certain items during this time in hopes to attract clientele, most specifically well drinks. However, as a baller I refuse to drink swill therefore I demanded that the bartender fix me a Manhattan with all top shelf ingredients. After she was finished explaining that she could make me something comparable with well drinks, I politely responded that I prefer only the finer things in life and that I would also like a shot of Patron.

After quickly running up a bar tab in excess of $40 in about 2 and a half hours, I realize that only a few other sophisticates noticed me lavishly wasting my money while others sipped Hamms'. This required me to take dramatic action. I immediately removed a bill from my wallet and proceeded to light a cigarette with it. This of course created quite a stir. During the commotion a nice young lady happened to spill her drink, which I immediately wiped up using some money. The bartender, however, did not take note of my chivalry and instead insisted that I put out the money because it was a fire hazard. I then immediately rectified that situation with a generous tip.

Well I guess that I am going to have to start carrying around a fire extinguisher at the rate which I'm burning through money.