Thursday, April 10, 2008

An Open Letter To Sophie Monk:

Dear Sohpie,

Recently, I came across a pop up add with your picture on it which took me to this site . I had heard your name before but I never knew what you looked like. Now, well, it is forever etched in my memory.


I see that Mr. Seacrest doesn't want to be scene with you. Well, Sophie, I would be more than happy to be scene with you. In fact, I would even go so far as doing the following things in public with you.

-Making out.
-Letting you touch my wiener.
-Giving me oral sex.
-Having vaginal sex.


The best part about our pending nuptials, well at least from my perspective seems quite clear. You are a starlet who I have never heard of. While doing a google image seach or you I see you hanging out with Nicole Richie, a dude from Good Charlotte and you standing in front of a bunch of posters for shitty movies. So it is clear to me that you have little to no money. Well guess what!?! I have a ton. I am also willing to give you some of it in exchange for sexual acts.


So let me know if you are into it. You can reach me at . My last girlfriend told me I was pretty good at sex. I doubt that she was wrong. So, yeah, holler at your baller!

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