dreamed about how much I would love just to chuck shit on the ground and have someone else clean up. Almost every evening I think about how I want someone else to do my laundry for me, well, I actually already make other people do my laundry but the previous two items still hold true.
Considering that I already have people do my laundry I figured it was only a matter of time that I made this switch. I am going to miss the excellent service from the young girls over at "You Are Rich So We Will Wash Your Clothes" laundromat, but it is time to leave. Good bye ladies, hello maid.
Naturally, it was only a matter of time before I got a maid. I mean, I have two apartments. More importantly, considering how many hours a week I spend devoting my time and energies to making a world wide business conglomerate and getting drunk it is amazing that I ever remember to buy toothpaste. (don't worry ladies, I remember...)
So here is how I plan on changing my life now that I am going to hire a maid.
1- I can spend more time spending money instead of cleaning.
2- I can spend more time getting drunk instead of cleaning.
3- I can spend more time having sex instead of cleaning.
4- I will have more sex because my house will be clean and I will be less embarrassed to bring hot babes home.
5- I will get more drunk because, often times, I drink less because I hate picking up empty bottles so much.
6- I will have sex with more maids that I used to.
oh, baby.
