In case you haven't noticed we really like to talk about ourselves. It's hard not to, though, when your doing amazing shit nearly every minute of the day. Well here at making it rain, we occasionally will take time out of our awesome lives to acknowledge others that live up to our standards.
The first would be a man that I can personally vouch for as being a total bad ass. A couple of weeks back at some party, after pounding two malt liquor 40s, I was given the propers by some dude for my achievement. He then suggested we celebrate by shotgunning deuce-deuces of Camo. It was then I realized that this was no ordinary party goer...it was none other than C-REX. While everyone else in the party was sipping on their PBRs and Hamm's ironically we were out back recounting tales about how fucking cool we are. By now, you must know that much about me so I will present some evidence that, in fact, other ballers do exist. Just watch this video and see for yourself.
and if your still not convinced...go to this website
Okay, Okay...so your probably now convinced about how fucking cool the people we role with are but let me tell you a little story. Apparently, after getting paid ($2000) from a show he just finished, C REX then took that money (which he was supposed to use to go visit his girlfriend) and bought everyone in the venue drinks and then made a 40 sculpture of himself. With that said, I would like to induct C REX as an honorary member of Making it Rain.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Hating It Rain.
So remember that cool sociology 101 professor from your first year in college? The one who really opened up your eyes to all of the outrages going on in the world. The one who may or may not have influenced you to take up anthropology. Well there is little to no doubt in my mind that this professor had you read "Nickeled and Dimed: On(Not) Getting By In America" by Barbara Ehrenreich.
Barbara decided that for this book she was going to do some modern muckraking to prove that you can't get by with a shitty ass job. Starting off in her own backyard, Ehrenreich searched for lodging and a job in neighboring Key West, Florida. After Securing jobs at two restaurants, and a one-day housekeeping stint, she worked for one month before giving into the hard work of an extremely busy night at the restaurant; she walked out, then she headed to Portland, Maine, without an automobile, for a fresh start. Well, Barb, I bet it would be a lot easier to secure a stable living if you didn't walk out on your job when it got too hard, huh? Stupid Bitch.
After arriving in Maine, Ehrenreich landed two more jobs after a four day search, one as an assistant at a nursing home and another as a maid at a cleaning franchise. Worn down by her work-load and work-related stress, she traveled to her final destination, Minneapolis, Minnesota, where she is employed in the women's department at a Wal-Mart before ultimately ending her investigation. Even with the odds stacked on her side -- a car, no kids taking her dough, and a boat load of cash to start off with -- Ehrenreich failed to achieve a baller lifestyle. Though, I have to admit, the one thing not in her favor, quitting every job she has.
So where did all of this get you, Barb? See the thing is by forgoing your modest middle class means and trying to prove a point you wound up with no money looking like a fat ass Chuck Klosterman.
Are you happy with that decision? You are trying to glorify a lifestyle that is stupid. I think for your next book maybe you should write about what it is like to be homeless for a couple of months. I am sure people will love reading that. If you want to give me a signed copy of that when it is finished you can find me at the top of the best seller charts with my book "How to make a ton of cash and score a ton of ass"
*For the record, we don't disagree with her idea. I mean, who knows if those suckers with minimum wage jobs can pay their bills. At Making It Rain we decided early on that it was important to get high paying jobs so that we could have nice things, get drunk often and score tons of chicks. So far, so good.
Barbara decided that for this book she was going to do some modern muckraking to prove that you can't get by with a shitty ass job. Starting off in her own backyard, Ehrenreich searched for lodging and a job in neighboring Key West, Florida. After Securing jobs at two restaurants, and a one-day housekeeping stint, she worked for one month before giving into the hard work of an extremely busy night at the restaurant; she walked out, then she headed to Portland, Maine, without an automobile, for a fresh start. Well, Barb, I bet it would be a lot easier to secure a stable living if you didn't walk out on your job when it got too hard, huh? Stupid Bitch.
After arriving in Maine, Ehrenreich landed two more jobs after a four day search, one as an assistant at a nursing home and another as a maid at a cleaning franchise. Worn down by her work-load and work-related stress, she traveled to her final destination, Minneapolis, Minnesota, where she is employed in the women's department at a Wal-Mart before ultimately ending her investigation. Even with the odds stacked on her side -- a car, no kids taking her dough, and a boat load of cash to start off with -- Ehrenreich failed to achieve a baller lifestyle. Though, I have to admit, the one thing not in her favor, quitting every job she has.
So where did all of this get you, Barb? See the thing is by forgoing your modest middle class means and trying to prove a point you wound up with no money looking like a fat ass Chuck Klosterman.
Are you happy with that decision? You are trying to glorify a lifestyle that is stupid. I think for your next book maybe you should write about what it is like to be homeless for a couple of months. I am sure people will love reading that. If you want to give me a signed copy of that when it is finished you can find me at the top of the best seller charts with my book "How to make a ton of cash and score a ton of ass"
*For the record, we don't disagree with her idea. I mean, who knows if those suckers with minimum wage jobs can pay their bills. At Making It Rain we decided early on that it was important to get high paying jobs so that we could have nice things, get drunk often and score tons of chicks. So far, so good.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
With Tax Season Looming...
There are like a million old Money Inc. videos that will get posted on this site before all is said and done. Here is one half of the former 3 time WWF tag team champions, I.R.S. doling out some tax advice for all of you tax cheating schlubs out there.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Please Govenor, Please.
First and foremost I would like to state that this blog has no political affiliations what so ever. Each and every writer and making it rain comes from different backgrounds and have their own political beliefs that we hold true to ourselves but would never publicize here. Some of us hate high taxes because it takes spending money out of our pockets. On the other hand others here love high taxes because we like to show homeless people how much is deducted from our check every week.
Now, with that said, Elliot Spitzer, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!
Now I realize that dear old Elliot is not the first politician to have some mild indiscretions with the "ladies", nor do I believe that he will be the last. The fact is that he is the first to get busted since this blog has been in existence, so for that reason alone I feel as if he should be honored for getting down on some whores. I mean, look at this guy, He needs a whore. It's not like every guy can look like a making it rain writer.
Also, here is a picture of him with a woman. I assume that he paid for her to follow him and then felate him afterwards. Awesome, awesome, so very awesome.
Well Elliot, here is to you, first off for getting me to update twice in one day. Secondly for making me crack up super hard. Last but not least we here at making it rain want to thank you for letting us post a picture of this woman.
who may or not have been the prostitute that cost you your governorship. Idiot.
Now, with that said, Elliot Spitzer, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!
Now I realize that dear old Elliot is not the first politician to have some mild indiscretions with the "ladies", nor do I believe that he will be the last. The fact is that he is the first to get busted since this blog has been in existence, so for that reason alone I feel as if he should be honored for getting down on some whores. I mean, look at this guy, He needs a whore. It's not like every guy can look like a making it rain writer.
Also, here is a picture of him with a woman. I assume that he paid for her to follow him and then felate him afterwards. Awesome, awesome, so very awesome.
Well Elliot, here is to you, first off for getting me to update twice in one day. Secondly for making me crack up super hard. Last but not least we here at making it rain want to thank you for letting us post a picture of this woman.
who may or not have been the prostitute that cost you your governorship. Idiot.
Office Parties.
A wise man once told me that there was no such thing as a bad party. Over the years I find myself inclined to agree with the old man. Sure, some parties have proved to be more fun than others. Some parties, if not for the presence of alcohol might have been god awful in fact, thankfully though, there is always free booze and often times free food. Whenever free food and free booze are around it is an excellent recipe for a baller to show off how much he can drink. This, more often than not, results in a good time had by all.
In my opinion though, there is one kind of party that stands out amongst all others. This is the work party. As most of you know, part of being a money mauler is giving up a good chunk of your day to the man. Slaving away, be it at a nine to five, an eight to six or maybe even a nine to nine if you are very ambitious. For the record, no real baller works the night shift, 'cos, y'know, that is when the sluts are out.
Now since you give most of your time to your boss it is only fair that when he presents the opportunity to drink away his cash, well, you should take advantage of this. It is recommended that you drink top shelf manhattans, do shots of patron with any good looking co-workers and if you are feeling especially wasteful, act like a girl and spill your drink while you are in the bathroom. This will create the illusion that you are drinking more than you actually are while still not costing you a penny. Talk about a win win situation!
Another awesome part about the night is that since you don't have to spend a penny on booze or food that you can tip the bartenders far much more than they deserve. You can tell them, "hey buddy, I used to tend bar in college, it will get better, look at all of this!!!! ahahahahaha!" The bartender will respect you and the shorties from your office will think that you are super cool too. Just be careful that you are impressing the hot, young women from a few cubicles down and not Agnus and Barb from accounting.
The Christmas party this year was awful man, ughh.
In my opinion though, there is one kind of party that stands out amongst all others. This is the work party. As most of you know, part of being a money mauler is giving up a good chunk of your day to the man. Slaving away, be it at a nine to five, an eight to six or maybe even a nine to nine if you are very ambitious. For the record, no real baller works the night shift, 'cos, y'know, that is when the sluts are out.
Now since you give most of your time to your boss it is only fair that when he presents the opportunity to drink away his cash, well, you should take advantage of this. It is recommended that you drink top shelf manhattans, do shots of patron with any good looking co-workers and if you are feeling especially wasteful, act like a girl and spill your drink while you are in the bathroom. This will create the illusion that you are drinking more than you actually are while still not costing you a penny. Talk about a win win situation!
Another awesome part about the night is that since you don't have to spend a penny on booze or food that you can tip the bartenders far much more than they deserve. You can tell them, "hey buddy, I used to tend bar in college, it will get better, look at all of this!!!! ahahahahaha!" The bartender will respect you and the shorties from your office will think that you are super cool too. Just be careful that you are impressing the hot, young women from a few cubicles down and not Agnus and Barb from accounting.
The Christmas party this year was awful man, ughh.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Battle of the Ballers.
Tonight is the series finale of the critically acclaimed HBO series The Wire. The show has received critical acclaim for its realistic portrayal of urban life and uncommonly deep exploration of sociological themes, and has been named the best show on television by TIME, Entertainment Weekly, The Guardian,the Chicago Tribune,Slate,the San Francisco Chronicle,Philadelphia Daily News and me. Despite the positive reviews, the show has failed to draw an audience commensurate with its press.
Most of the readers of this blog don't have the time do watch television, you are far to busy spending cash, getting wasted and doing chicks. I understand this but this show displays some baller ass shit such as slinging drugs and having mad cash. Plus a bunch off pussies get off'ed which is sweet. Today we are going to go over the two main ballers in this show, Marlo Stanfield and Avon Barksdale to figure out which of these ballers flaunts the most cheddar. First up, Avon Barksdale.
Avon was the number one baller when the show started in 2002. He ran all of West Baltimore and had no less than two people who testified against his crew murdered for being snitchin' ass bitches. Him and his boy Stringer Bell had the most cash and ran the most sexy strip club in all of B'more.
Avon was eventually locked up for conspiracy or some shit because that is all that they could put on his ass. The man was far too smooth to get locked up for murder. While he was in prison he had a bunch of other jokers killed because he was so bad ass he could make sweet ass plays like that from the slammer. Next up, Marlo Stanfield.
Marlo had over twenty punk asses shot up and put in some vacant buildings to show other dealers in B'more how he rolled. In the most recent season he totally went ape shit on his crew when he found out that his name was sullied by Omar (a homosexual stuck up boy) in the streets. We will find out tonight how many more "all talk no action" bitches get done for being snitches.
So let's break this thing down Dr. Jack Style
More bad ass crew?
Avon had Weebay, Stringer Bell, D'Angelo Barksdale, and Brodie.
Marlo runs with Chris Partlow, Snoop and Cheddar.
The winner is Marlo. Snoop and Chris kill the most jokers in all of B'more. Be they from the East side, West side or New York City, no one is safe on Marlo's watch.
The most cash flow
Avon relationship with his number two, Stringer Bell, was always in a state of constant flux because he felt restricted by Stringer's cash spending limitations placed upon him. Avon always wanted to go out and shoot corner boys, get drunk and spend cash like woah.
Marlo is kind of a bitch ass who only takes an administrative position when it comes to doing the deeds. He hands out cash to little kids in season four just so those kids know who is in charge with Avon in prison. Marlo also had Prop Joe launder money for him because he was such a bitch that he wouldn't just go out with the cash that he had. Ultimately, when push comes to shove Avon had Stinger killed because Avon wanted to flaunt cash and Stringer wasn't having it. Avon takes this round.
Who scores the most babes?
Marlo sort of strikes me as a prude, I don't really remember him even talking to any chick besides Snoop during the entire show. For all of the name calling on Omar I might have to wonder if it is time for someone to look into the mirror.
As mentioned earlier, Avon owned a strip club, 'nuff said.
In our battle of the ballers Avon Barksdale defeats Marlo Stanfield as the most ballin' ass n word on The Wire. My prediction for tonight's finale, given this head to head breakdown, is that Avon has Marlo killed. Sure Avon is in prison but he has shown that he can make a bitch drop from there already. Also, I swear to God if Bubbles dies I am going to get reaaaaaaaaal pissed.
Most of the readers of this blog don't have the time do watch television, you are far to busy spending cash, getting wasted and doing chicks. I understand this but this show displays some baller ass shit such as slinging drugs and having mad cash. Plus a bunch off pussies get off'ed which is sweet. Today we are going to go over the two main ballers in this show, Marlo Stanfield and Avon Barksdale to figure out which of these ballers flaunts the most cheddar. First up, Avon Barksdale.
Avon was the number one baller when the show started in 2002. He ran all of West Baltimore and had no less than two people who testified against his crew murdered for being snitchin' ass bitches. Him and his boy Stringer Bell had the most cash and ran the most sexy strip club in all of B'more.
Avon was eventually locked up for conspiracy or some shit because that is all that they could put on his ass. The man was far too smooth to get locked up for murder. While he was in prison he had a bunch of other jokers killed because he was so bad ass he could make sweet ass plays like that from the slammer. Next up, Marlo Stanfield.
Marlo had over twenty punk asses shot up and put in some vacant buildings to show other dealers in B'more how he rolled. In the most recent season he totally went ape shit on his crew when he found out that his name was sullied by Omar (a homosexual stuck up boy) in the streets. We will find out tonight how many more "all talk no action" bitches get done for being snitches.
So let's break this thing down Dr. Jack Style
More bad ass crew?
Avon had Weebay, Stringer Bell, D'Angelo Barksdale, and Brodie.
Marlo runs with Chris Partlow, Snoop and Cheddar.
The winner is Marlo. Snoop and Chris kill the most jokers in all of B'more. Be they from the East side, West side or New York City, no one is safe on Marlo's watch.
The most cash flow
Avon relationship with his number two, Stringer Bell, was always in a state of constant flux because he felt restricted by Stringer's cash spending limitations placed upon him. Avon always wanted to go out and shoot corner boys, get drunk and spend cash like woah.
Marlo is kind of a bitch ass who only takes an administrative position when it comes to doing the deeds. He hands out cash to little kids in season four just so those kids know who is in charge with Avon in prison. Marlo also had Prop Joe launder money for him because he was such a bitch that he wouldn't just go out with the cash that he had. Ultimately, when push comes to shove Avon had Stinger killed because Avon wanted to flaunt cash and Stringer wasn't having it. Avon takes this round.
Who scores the most babes?
Marlo sort of strikes me as a prude, I don't really remember him even talking to any chick besides Snoop during the entire show. For all of the name calling on Omar I might have to wonder if it is time for someone to look into the mirror.
As mentioned earlier, Avon owned a strip club, 'nuff said.
In our battle of the ballers Avon Barksdale defeats Marlo Stanfield as the most ballin' ass n word on The Wire. My prediction for tonight's finale, given this head to head breakdown, is that Avon has Marlo killed. Sure Avon is in prison but he has shown that he can make a bitch drop from there already. Also, I swear to God if Bubbles dies I am going to get reaaaaaaaaal pissed.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
I Can't Get Enough Of This Guy
I really do wish that I never found out that Ted Dibiase, The Million Dollar Man, was a fraud. It ruined just about my entire month of February. I have new hopes for March though. I am going to kind of pretend that it never happened and go back to posting awesome video clips from The Million Dollar Man. The Godfather of spending, I love him.
Song Profile The Second.
Song time again. Today we will be profiling "Make It Rain" by Fat Joe f/ a bunch of other rappers. I have a feeling that this song may rate better than "If I Had A Million Dollars"
Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes
Yes, Yes, Yes. That is awesome. Suggesting that all those penny pincher's out there should grab umbrellas so as to shield themselves from the cash that will be falling all around them. Awesome, totally awesome.
Cr Cr Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack
U hear that Echo, man I seen the best go, cuz he ain't had that metal
Im a Hustla’s Hustla, A Pusher’s Pusher
U a busta a customer, I get u sum cooka
Yea Crack is a chemist, I pack a 11, I mack in a 7, I’ll clap at ur reverend
I see u in NY, I’ll send u an invite, U gon need u a pass that’s the code that we live by.
Well, I am not quite sure what he was saying there most of the time. It rhymes though, that is pretty cool. On the whole, I am a not that impressed with Fat Joe's abilities to make it rain, so far that is.
[Chorus]
OWWWW Clap Clap Clap Gotta make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Clap Clap Clap Clap Gotta Make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Now why’s everybody so mad at the south for
Change ur style up.. switch 2 southpaw
Jada I was listenin(listenin), so I made him an anthem 2 make some dividends
Lil mama try 2 hit me with the Shoulder Lean ,This Cootco Crack and I control the team
Couple Bricks Stacked up on that triple beam, my dirty bro sippin that promethazeen
That Gonja Green that Cali Weed, a nigga lose his life try roll on me
Now yup yup we get it, no advanced about it
And the rain keep fallin' even when it's droughted
Doing chicks? Check. Doing drugs? Check. Spending Money? Check. That is just an excellent verse. That was an excellent come back Fat Joe.
Owwwww mami’s body is bangin, she got it man she does it all
She gets it poppin with no hands I’ll make it pour
I’ll make it rain on em I’m layin' game 2 em
I’m gassin misses to tattoo my name on em
Gotta get that baby love, gotta get my paper up
Gotta suspect me,xactly test this crack and wanna ring on us
And U Kno what it is, yo its them powder kids
And we kno how 2 bizz, so we don’t give a shit.
Now I know being a baller is difficult, trust me, I know better than ANYONE. Still though, the fact that Fat Joe blatantly mis spells words like "know" by writing "kno" well, I think it is just lazy. I know that one might argue that I am so rich that I don't need to know how to spell. Or maybe you could say that I am so busy doing chicks that it doesn't matter. I just think that it does. A small complaint really. Maybe it is just that my English teacher was more effective in making me pay attention in class.
[Chorus]
Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes
Yeah, this song is pretty cool. It would have been cool that if at some point he would have mentioned the website, I don't know, it would have been cool, I mean, I review your song, you drop the website on a remix, well, yeah, if you could do that it would be awesome, thanks.
Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes
Yes, Yes, Yes. That is awesome. Suggesting that all those penny pincher's out there should grab umbrellas so as to shield themselves from the cash that will be falling all around them. Awesome, totally awesome.
Cr Cr Crack Crack Crack Crack Crack
U hear that Echo, man I seen the best go, cuz he ain't had that metal
Im a Hustla’s Hustla, A Pusher’s Pusher
U a busta a customer, I get u sum cooka
Yea Crack is a chemist, I pack a 11, I mack in a 7, I’ll clap at ur reverend
I see u in NY, I’ll send u an invite, U gon need u a pass that’s the code that we live by.
Well, I am not quite sure what he was saying there most of the time. It rhymes though, that is pretty cool. On the whole, I am a not that impressed with Fat Joe's abilities to make it rain, so far that is.
[Chorus]
OWWWW Clap Clap Clap Gotta make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Clap Clap Clap Clap Gotta Make that ass Clap Gotta make that ass Clap
Now why’s everybody so mad at the south for
Change ur style up.. switch 2 southpaw
Jada I was listenin(listenin), so I made him an anthem 2 make some dividends
Lil mama try 2 hit me with the Shoulder Lean ,This Cootco Crack and I control the team
Couple Bricks Stacked up on that triple beam, my dirty bro sippin that promethazeen
That Gonja Green that Cali Weed, a nigga lose his life try roll on me
Now yup yup we get it, no advanced about it
And the rain keep fallin' even when it's droughted
Doing chicks? Check. Doing drugs? Check. Spending Money? Check. That is just an excellent verse. That was an excellent come back Fat Joe.
Owwwww mami’s body is bangin, she got it man she does it all
She gets it poppin with no hands I’ll make it pour
I’ll make it rain on em I’m layin' game 2 em
I’m gassin misses to tattoo my name on em
Gotta get that baby love, gotta get my paper up
Gotta suspect me,xactly test this crack and wanna ring on us
And U Kno what it is, yo its them powder kids
And we kno how 2 bizz, so we don’t give a shit.
Now I know being a baller is difficult, trust me, I know better than ANYONE. Still though, the fact that Fat Joe blatantly mis spells words like "know" by writing "kno" well, I think it is just lazy. I know that one might argue that I am so rich that I don't need to know how to spell. Or maybe you could say that I am so busy doing chicks that it doesn't matter. I just think that it does. A small complaint really. Maybe it is just that my English teacher was more effective in making me pay attention in class.
[Chorus]
Yeah im in this business of terror Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella
I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I'm in this business of terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella
I make it rain, (I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make It rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)
I make it rain on them hoes
Yeah, this song is pretty cool. It would have been cool that if at some point he would have mentioned the website, I don't know, it would have been cool, I mean, I review your song, you drop the website on a remix, well, yeah, if you could do that it would be awesome, thanks.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Regarding Today's Buffalo News
Today while taking a breather from the grueling world of corporate ambition I took a few moments to enjoy a nice cup of coffee and read the newspaper. After thumbing through a few pages I came across a headline that read "Five People With Buffalo Ties Among The World's Richest".
My first thought was, "I don't remember being asked for an interview for this story! Surely with my wealth I am included in such a list of the world's elite!" I continued reading and there is no mention of my name anywhere!
"Bullocks!" I shouted. Then I thought perhaps I was intoxicated and made a profanity laced tirade about how the barenaked ladies have no idea how to spend money like me and how it is nice to finally get some recognition for being such a baller.
I then thought that maybe their was a space restriction on the actual print edition so I wandered over to the Buffalo News' website to see if they talked about their hometown hero who spends cash like no other. Alas, I got distracted by pictures of scantily clad women and never checked
But then I figured it out without even going to the website. The world's richest man, Warren Buffett, owns the Buffalo News. There is no way that he would allow me to over shadow him in his own paper. Well played Mr. Buffett, you are a smart business man. But don't think that you have heard the last from yet. I will be writing a letter to your editor, which I am sure won't be published.
Maybe I should not have made that anti-Geico post after all...
My first thought was, "I don't remember being asked for an interview for this story! Surely with my wealth I am included in such a list of the world's elite!" I continued reading and there is no mention of my name anywhere!
"Bullocks!" I shouted. Then I thought perhaps I was intoxicated and made a profanity laced tirade about how the barenaked ladies have no idea how to spend money like me and how it is nice to finally get some recognition for being such a baller.
I then thought that maybe their was a space restriction on the actual print edition so I wandered over to the Buffalo News' website to see if they talked about their hometown hero who spends cash like no other. Alas, I got distracted by pictures of scantily clad women and never checked
But then I figured it out without even going to the website. The world's richest man, Warren Buffett, owns the Buffalo News. There is no way that he would allow me to over shadow him in his own paper. Well played Mr. Buffett, you are a smart business man. But don't think that you have heard the last from yet. I will be writing a letter to your editor, which I am sure won't be published.
Maybe I should not have made that anti-Geico post after all...
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Did You Know?
Did you know that March is "National Talk To Your Teen About Sex" Month? Well, thankfully we here at MakingItRain are concerned with addressing serious issues each and every day. Be it talking about how to spend cash, get wasted or, in today's installment how to have sex with an eighteen or nineteen year old!
See, the thing about teen sex is that you always have to make sure that you check their id's. I remember this one time when I was out at a bar, now mind you, bars should be places of business that only allow people aged 21 years or older inside, right? Well apparently this bar owner disagreed with me. Not only that, how was I supposed to know that women under the age of 21 think that spending money frivolously totally sexy?
So before you know it we are back at my mansion and I am lighting cigarettes with fifty dollar bills and showing her this neat trick where money can literally burn a hole in my pocket.
Well, long story short, I am very happy that I am super rich so I can afford excellent lawyer's who can place "fake" fake id's into these girl's bedrooms so that when the police search her parent's house for evidence proving my innocence they find these fraudulent documents proving that I was duped into thinking she was 21. Man, being rich is awesome.
See, the thing about teen sex is that you always have to make sure that you check their id's. I remember this one time when I was out at a bar, now mind you, bars should be places of business that only allow people aged 21 years or older inside, right? Well apparently this bar owner disagreed with me. Not only that, how was I supposed to know that women under the age of 21 think that spending money frivolously totally sexy?
So before you know it we are back at my mansion and I am lighting cigarettes with fifty dollar bills and showing her this neat trick where money can literally burn a hole in my pocket.
Well, long story short, I am very happy that I am super rich so I can afford excellent lawyer's who can place "fake" fake id's into these girl's bedrooms so that when the police search her parent's house for evidence proving my innocence they find these fraudulent documents proving that I was duped into thinking she was 21. Man, being rich is awesome.
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