Hating it rain.

Hating it rain is one of our more popular features here at making it rain. Today we are profiling turn of the century muckaraker Jacob Riis. Jacob Riis is, as far as I am concerned, an asshole.



Now I realize that is a very strong statement to make, I do. It may, in one's opinion, in fact be sacrilege to those who have recently immigrated to America who have him to thank for the fact that they don't live in absolute squander. His books and photo essay's including "how the other half lives" paved the way for social change in America. He was not all good though. Thankfully, I am here to tell you how it really went down.



Jacob Riis came to America at the age of 21 in the year of 1870. He arrived in America with other large groups of immigrants who flooded urban areas in the years following the Civil War seeking prosperity in the more industrialized environment of the United States. There was seriously like 25 million people all moving to urban centers in America trying to get paid.



But no, these poor immigrants were not to get paid! ahahahahahhaha. In fact the demographics of American urban centers grew so huge that the more the immigrants arrived the more problems arose due to even the largest cities in the United States not having enough space to house them. So, Riis found himself just another poor immigrant in New York. Now I am quoting his wikipedia page here so I can only hope that this is true, "His only companion was a stray dog he met shortly after his arrival. The dog brought him inspiration and when a police officer mercilessly beat it to death, Riis was devastated. One of his personal victories, he later confessed, was not using his eventual fame to ruin the career of the offending officer. Riis spent most of his nights in police-run poor houses, whose conditions were so ghastly that Riis dedicated himself to having them shut down."



So what I have gathered here is that Jacob Riis, who lived in , albiet slummy, police housing when he first arrived in america claims that he didn't want to pay the police department back. Well, well, well. I hate to break it to you Jacob but guess what? When you closed down all of those police shanty towns you did ruin the said police officers life. He no longer had a job. I even heard that he killed himself and his entire family because he was so insecure in the fact that he was unable to pay for his family to eat or to pay the bills . This fate may have been avoided had there been low rent housing made available by the police, but no, that wasn't the case anymore. Thanks a lot Mr. Riis.



asshole.

Future Ballers?

Would you believe that the second richest man in the world is from mexico? Seriously. Mexico. The man's name is Carlos Slim, which albiet is a pretty awesome name, this man is worth in excess of $59 billion dollars and he is from Mexico City!



It really makes you think about things. If a guy from Mexico can accumulate something like $60 billion dollars it is very encouraging to other people from very poor countries. Think about it, if you are a beggared youth from some impoverished country that you too have a chance to be a total baller. On top of it all, Carlos Slim is an a fat dude!!!



So what I wanted to do today was take a look at prospective ballers in upcoming generations.



Ho Chi Vatthana is an aspiring billionaire from Laos. Ho Chi is quickly becoming of of the top animal skinner in all of a growing Loasian population. He is currently in dissucions with several Vietnamese business men to bring his company national. With any luck he will be making the forbes top 400 list by 2092.



Since the disintegration of Yugoslavia in the 1990's there have been many entrepreneurs in Serbia trying to cash in with the new capitalist government. One of which is our next gentlemen to be profiled, Tomislav Milicic. Mr. Milicic is responsible for bringing the Olive Garden chain to Eastern Europe. He is also credited with the brilliant mind who thought up the uber successful "all you can eat pasta" campaign which is all the rage of America as we speak.



Who knows who could be next? I mean if you could come from the crumbling economies of Mexico, Laos or Serbia and put together that kind of scratch pretty much anything is possible, like becoming a cultural icon with no talent what so ever.

goals.

New Year's is generally the time of year where people make resolutions. People think to themselves, "self, how can i better you?" Sadly, most of you can't do a damn thing to make yourselves better. You say, "oh, maybe i should stop smoking!" Or maybe you say, "I should start going to the gym." Once i even heard some freak suggest that he should take up the trombone.



Not me though. I have never made a lame new year's resolution. Sure, I have made some before. In 2001 I decided that I wanted to score more babes. I did. In 2004 I figured that I could use some more disposable income. Obviously, I accomplished that goal. This year though, this year I want a commemorative stamp made of me.



The first commerative stamp was issued in 1893 by postmaster general John Wannamaker. Other big wigs at the post office tried to fight him on his radical plan of commeratating people, places and events but ol' John said, look, idiot people will flock to this things and collect them. This will be a very profitable evdevaor for us. Needless to say, he was right and the post office proceeded to make it rain.



The controversial first commemorative stamps were the Columbian Exposition Series. Printed by the ABNC, or American Bank Note Company, the stamps were issued to commemorate the World Columbian Exposition held in Chicago, Illinois, from May 1 to October 30, 1893. The stamps were to celebrate the 400th anniversary of Christopher Columbus's voyage to the New World. It is my feeling that there could not be a lamer reason to make stamps. How about a stamp to commemorate the 400th chick that i sneezed on.



Throughout history such people as Elvis, places like Canada, or events like the Special Olympics have been celebrated through the stamp. They also apparantly make stamps to coincide with the releases of blockbuster films.



So all I want to accomplish this year is getting my mug on a stamp. It would be useful too if you think about it. I mean, when women buy it they won't mind making out with the stamp before placing it on the letter.